It Says, Thing Says: Dueling Gringos

It says: Goddamn Mexicans! Invading our nice, safe cities. Now there's signs in Mexican all over the damn place. This is Amurica! Where we speak God's English. They take away jobs from hard working Amuricans, refuse to pay taxes, and then run off and have twenty babies before they're even sixteen years old! Plus, they steal.

Thing says: But Los Portales.

It says: This was a good town before them Mexican gangbangers came rolling in with their old Cadillacs and crazy latin polka. Them lazy bastards sit around all day drinking and doing rim jobs on these Caddies. Which is an Amurican car! It's blasphemy seeing some wetback muddying up an honest-to-god trusty Amurican classic like that.

Thing says: But, seriously, Los Portales!

It says: Now my wife don't feel safe in our own city, what with the now ever present threat of rape. Them Mexicans are violent, dirty, stupid, lazy, unlawful, and just plain bad for Amurica! 9/11!! Not to mention those little shithole restaurants they open. Uglying up our fair city...

Thing says: WHOA! Now you crossed a line, bitch. You wanna keep talking about Los Portales? Because I will fuckin cut you. Good, cheap, ridiculously authentic Mexican food is one of the ways Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, Vishnu, Kukulcan, and L. Ron Hubbard reward us for being sensational.

It says: But look at...

Thing says: NO! You look at it! It's everything everyone wants and more. LOS PORTALES PARA PRESIDENTE DE LA TIERRA!